Tuesday, December 10, 2013


“Last call my good man.” 
The words come from an unidentifiable creature. A towel in his hands. A voice worn and soft from age and too much second hand smoke. He was Santa Claus without the beard and a belly full of jelly. 

“So much for ‘everyone knows your name’.” I was surprised at the drawl and slur of my words as they gurgled out of my mouth.
A warm distilled blanket closed over me somewhere during the now unknown number of drinks and trips to the restroom. I had succumb. I came here with a purpose. The voices kept choiring in my head, the thoughts kept stomping around my brain, and responsibilities kept reminding me of living. 

needed more to drink.
Santa waved me away as gravity spun me like a top on the spinning barstool. Weakly and foolishly I grabbed the bar and raised my three ton body; my feet seemed to dangle five miles above the ground before making contact. There were more faces in the room. All snug in a distilled stooper with visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in front of their eyes.
I wasn’t sure where all this Christmas imagery was coming from, it was mid July and this would be the last place I’d see a
reindeer. Yet, I swore I could hear sleigh bells somewhere.
Yes, I think I had drunk myself stupid. So now the question would be; how stupid was I? All I have is memories and nothing else. Memories and anger, no more; memories, anger, and loneliness, that’s all; memories, anger, and loneliness, and revenge, that’s it; memories, anger, loneliness, revenge, and regret, maybe; memories, anger, loneliness, revenge, regret, and sympathy, nothing more. 

I wasn’t stupid enough.
“Right nooooww it all seeeeems to beeee arguing inside meeee!” I managed to sing it in tune as I fumbled to the door. My warm womb-like blanket had turned cold and my stomach felt as if a birthing canal had ruptured opened. Knocking over a chair, maybe two; stumbling over a table or maybe someone at the table, I threw myself at the door, feeling the atmosphere surround me and the cold pavement come to me. Soon followed by everything else in acidic pools of yellow and green, black and red with Lord knows what else had been trapped within me. My mouth was an exorcism of carnal overindulgence.

I followed the walls of the buildings; I needed the support as I left digestive what-nots along the way. It made a perfect trail to wherever this body landed. I wasn’t even sure I was going the right way. After what was probably the one hundredth fall, I gave up. The point of getting up had escaped me and the ground was so much more comforting. Solid, cold, stable, it was simple joy as more convulsions followed and the soul was now purging itself through my nose.